Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
