i think i have herpe
just one?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's official drugs can't kill me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just want nice things and good sex
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
