You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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