New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
