JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize