why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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