dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
