I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
