Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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