I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize