I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
