Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
