I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
