im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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