Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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