One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
