dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
