did you get engaged???
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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