Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize