please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
