We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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