STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
