also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
