"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
