craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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