READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
