Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize