I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize