So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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