We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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