they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
