The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
