big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
