In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
