True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do vagina's smell?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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