on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
