Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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