u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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