In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize