break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
