I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
