Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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