no, he came in my armpit
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
All the doctor said was why
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize