Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
