Non-Jews are for practice
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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