So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you inspire me to be a worse person
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
