I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
