He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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