it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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