sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The ass gains better be worth it
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