awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
