he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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