i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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