You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
