I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
