arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
