wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize