I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
40s are totally the cure
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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