Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
