I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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