OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Randomize
