Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
