it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
