that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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