she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
